Floating without Fear
by Elriaen
Summary: Different POV re-telling of 'The Host' from Chapter 58. Will continue past the Epilogue.
1. Love

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. The lines that come directly from 'The Host' are her words and not mine. I simply play with her creations.

**Floating Without Fear - 1. Love**

"_What're you doing here?"_

"_Following you. I've been following you all night."_

What was Jared thinking in his corridor conversation with Wanda?

* * *

I kept my hand tight around Mel's wrist. Always Mel's to me.

There was no way Wanda was taking Mel anywhere without my knowing. But I did have a fairly good idea where she was going this time.

"You're going to see Doc?" I said, flatly. I had no idea how I managed to control my tone, but somehow I did. Besides, I knew this girl somehow. I had known what she would do when Jamie was hurt and I knew what she was going to do now that Mel was hurting. Maybe that was it? We both reacted in the same way to save the ones we loved.

"Of course I am," she hissed back at me. Something was up. Wanda didn't hiss. "What else can I do after today? It's not going to get any better. And this isn't Jeb's decision to make."

Of course it wasn't. It was Melanie's, I knew that. But then, could Ian have been right? Could Melanie have been arguing against this? Was Wanda lying about her opinions?

I pulled myself back to the here and now.

"I know," I reassured her, "I'm on your side." I hoped I was talking to Melanie too.

I could see the tears that came to her eyes by the glints in them and I cringed internally. It was so hard not to see Mel's pain when she looked like that. I had to help. For her sake.

"Then let me go, Jared. Go away. I want to be alone." For once she actually sounded like she was telling the truth. But I wasn't letting her get away that easily.

"I should come with you."

"You'll have Melanie back soon enough!" I don't think she had meant to sound that snappy. "I'm only asking for another few minutes, Jared. Give me that much."

_I would give you so much longer_ whispered a voice in my head. I was astounded at it. I shut it up, packed it away in the furthest corner of my mind. And I lied.

"Wanda, I would come to be with you." _That didn't sound like lying to me, _whispered the voice. God it was like I had another person in my head, just like she did.

"It wouldn't feel that way," she said, barely louder than that all-annoying voice. "So there's no point."

Something hit me in my heart. Very Hard. Suddenly I was so confused. I didn't know who I was here for, Wanda or Melanie. I didn't know if I should be jealous of Ian for the body or the soul. I didn't know if I could let Wanda leave us, leave me, even if I did get Mel back. Then I stopped.

I _loved _Melanie. With everything that I was, had been or could ever be, I loved her. Ever since that first moment, that first kiss, that first time she fought me, I'd loved her. And she loved me enough to force Wanda here. She had fought _for _me as well as against me, to allow us our lives together. Wanda's love for me came directly from Melanie's. And so the confusing affection that love had called out in me was _really_ due to Melanie too.

But it was there. I loved Wanda, nowhere near as passionately, powerfully or wholly as I loved Mel, but I loved her all the same.

"But Wanda, I..." I couldn't say it. Mel was there. I didn't even have the words to say it. "There is so much I need to say to you." I felt like a coward.

"I don't want your gratitude, Jared. Trust me on that." She was oblivious, she thought I just meant thanks. Good, that meant Mel was too. But bad because... oh God, how did this work! This was a love triangle gone entirely wrong!

"What do you want?" I could think of nothing else. I was past trying to figure out what I wanted. "I'll give you anything." Anything for the two girls I loved.

"Take care of my family. Don't let the others kill them." Ian was right, she was too selfless. I treated that with the contempt it deserved.

"Of course I'll take care of them." I was always going to. "I meant _you_. What can I give you?"

"I can't take anything with me, Jared." She didn't understand. Why couldn't she understand?

"Not even a memory, Wanda? What do you want?" _Please understand what I am trying to give you. I can't say the words, you will have to ask._

I could see she wasn't going to accept. She was trying to compose herself but that wasn't allowed. _Forgive me Melanie. _I tightened my hand on her wrist, though I don't think she noticed.

"What can I give you, _Wanda_?" I said it slowly, going over the words in my mind. Trying to separate the two of them.

And then, finally, she accepted. She gave in to what we both wanted.

"Give me a lie, Jared. Tell me you want me to stay."


	2. Confusion

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. The lines that come directly from 'The Host' are her words and not mine. I simply play with her creations.

**Floating without Fear - 2. Confusion**

"_What can I give you Wanda?"_

"_Give me a lie, Jared. Tell me you want me to stay."_

What was Jared thinking when he kissed Wanda in her last moments in Melanie's body?

* * *

I didn't stop to think. I just gave her what she wanted. And hoped Mel wouldn't punch me.

All kind of crazy things crashed though my head as I pulled her close. Part of me rejoiced in having what felt, physically at least, like Mel next to me again. There was a roaring in my ears as internal voices yelled conflicting things at me. I vaguely wondered what Ian would do to me if he walked round the corner now. I pictured how revolted and angry Mel would be. How Jamie would look at me. But nothing could stop me.

"Stay here, Wanda. With us." I tried to pack my voice with as many of my absurd feelings for her as I could. "With _me_. I can't imagine having you gone. I can't see that." Pure truth. "I don't know how to... how to..." my voice broke but I was beyond caring. There were so many ways to end that sentence. I don't know how to say this. I don't know how to live without you_ or_ Mel. I don't know how to make this _right._

She rested against me. I wanted to push her away when I thought of Melanie. But then _she_ pulled away and I was ready to yank her back and hold her tighter.

"Thank you." She was trying to leave!

No way. There was so much left to say. I had no idea how to say it but it had to be said. "I'm _not _done."

I did the only thing I could think of. I kissed her. Properly.

And I felt her. This wasn't anything like kissing Mel. It was an explosion of impossibility. Everything about it was wrong but it exploded so brilliantly that I couldn't even think of stopping. For the first time, I thought of her as Wanda and not Melanie. I kissed Wanda. I gasped her name, astounded that she had hidden how deeply she felt for me all this time. And the true depth of my own love for her was revealed to me.

It was all the more impossible for that because I knew, _knew_, that it was still nothing compared to what I felt for Mel. I had to choose and I knew which one I would pick. But that would hurt her.

Oh God, this must be hurting her. She was trying to leave and suddenly I was keeping her here. I wasn't giving her a gift anymore. I was keeping her as my own. I shouldn't be doing it but I couldn't help myself.

She had to pull away from me. It was like Doc had her on a fishing line and was reeling her in. Even as she pulled away, she angled towards his corridor.

I was breathless. Partly because of her but also from the conflicting emotions that were coursing through me. She was in a similar state. Her sweet breath washed over my face, making me long to kiss her again.

"Thank you," she repeated, really trying to leave now.

"Wait..." I still couldn't let her go.

"I can't. I can't... bear anymore. Okay?"

I felt like I had been punched again. There would have been nothing but her request that could possibly have made me release her. I could feel tears building up in my eyes and hated them.

"Okay." My voice was surprisingly steady. But then, I could always do what was needed when it truly mattered.

"I want just one more thing."_ Please don't ask me to stay here. Please don't make me lie to you._ "Let me do this alone. Please?"

I fought back my instant shout of refusal. I could imagine the switch in my head going from truth to lies with ease. Exactly like a lightswitch. I worked to put the right amount of emotion into my words. It wasn't hard.

"If..." I paused to see if she could hear the change. "if you're sure that's what you want..."

"It's what I need, Jared." She sounded so sure. She didn't know herself at all.

"Then I'll stay here." I gave up holding back the tears and let my voice go horse as well. Anything to convince her.

"I'll send Doc to get you when it's over." _Oh no you won't._

I still found myself unable to let her go. I tried one last tactic to stop her.

"You know that Ian is going to try to kill me for letting you do this? Maybe I should let him." I skipped over anything else about Ian. What I had said was all too true. Ian and I got on well, normally. Him trying to kill me wasn't something I was crazy about. Besides, I was still jealous. So I used Jamie instead. "And Jamie. He'll never forgive either one of us." Ha, I'd just given myself another reason to stop her. I couldn't live with Jamie annoyed at me. Then again, it wasn't like I needed another reason.

"I can't think about them right now. Please. Let me go."

_Damn it_. Plan B. Which meant I had to drop my arms. It was harder than I'd thought possible. It seemed my body was rebelling against me now as well as my head. And this was with the knowledge that I was doing to stop her. How hard would this have been if I didn't know that I was going to go find her? If I was really saying goodbye.

Eventually I found the muscles that controlled my arms and forced them to relax and drop, sliding them close to her skin as I did. I couldn't help myself.

"I love you Wanda." That was unexpected. Those four words had choked on my tongue before, how come they just flew out now?

She sighed. I wasn't surprised. "Thanks Jared. You know how much I love you. With my whole heart."

It felt so good to hear that. But then I heard what she had meant. She loved me with Mel's heart. With Mel's love. No one could dispute that body belonged to me. Well, me and Jamie but still. It was love for us that dragged Wanda here. But she, herself, didn't love me. Or at least, not like she loved Ian. We were well matched there.

I could feel my resolution waver. _No,_ I told myself, _we all need Wanda and I need Mel. They are both going to stay with us._

"What happens when it rains, Jared?" I started and was immediately thankful to the darkness for hiding it. Her whisper had come from nowhere. "Where do people sleep?"

I was openly crying. I could see what she was seeing; our lives going on without her. She thought she'd never know what happened if I didn't tell her. I was tempted not to, just to see if she would stay. But that was madness. I couldn't deny her anything at this point.

"We..." I swallowed, trying to keep to facts. "We all move into the game room. Everyone sleeps in there together." _And it is where we all tie together. You'll see. The deep connection you envy between us all. You will be part of it when you sleep surrounded by friends with the echo of raindrops running through the caves._

"Why?" I said, talking no louder than her. I knew why. I was trying to keep her longer.

"I just wanted to... imagine. How it will be." _I swear to you , Wanderer. You _will_ sleep with us all in the game room while it rains._ "Goodbye Jared. Mel says she'll see you soon."

My heart leapt at that. It always would. But I hated to watch her walk away as well.

"Wait... Wanda..."

I had tried to keep her down to every last second. But now she was running away from me. From Ian and Jamie. From all of us.

_No way. _As soon as her footsteps faded, I followed her. Silently.

**A/N :** Two chapters in two days. I'm amazed. Now, I don't like the title for this Chapter; would anyone care to suggest a better one? It needs to be just one word though.  
And just to make it clear, I will go into multiple POVs later. But right now Ian is asleep, Jamie is oblivious and Mel's POV is clear enough from the book. We'll get there though! I'm currently going about 1 chapter for every two pages of 'The Host' so Jamie, Ian and Mel should come in, in about 2 chapters maybe?


	3. Anger

******Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. The lines that come directly from 'The Host' are her words and not mine. I simply play with her creations

**Floating Without Fear – 3. Anger**

"_I just wanted to... imagine. How it will be."_

"_Wait... Wanda..."_

What was Jared thinking while Wanda was talking to Doc?

* * *

I locked down. I had a purpose; save Mel and also save Wanda. It was all I needed to go into that corner of my brain that made me so helpful to the people here. The part of me that was practical and could do what needed to be done. Emotions didn't help here; I reduced everything to weights on a scale. Whichever option did the most good, that was the one I took.

_If only it was that clear cut._

My feet were placed extremely carefully as I actually took care to be quiet. I knew I could move silently without the effort but I couldn't take risks here. I could see her as she walked into Doc's realm, her body too tense to disguise her fear. I lingered just outside the borders of the light, using old spying tactics. I couldn't really see them but I could hear them.

Kyle was snoring. That was easy to determine, as it was the most familiar sound. However, it was uninteresting.

Two sets of heavy breathing, one inlaid with fear, the other, sadness. Wanda and Doc. Also easy to identify, though far more crucial.

_I wonder how Mel is? Is she happy about returning? Scared for Wanda? Will she agree with what I'm doing here?_

Suddenly Wanda's breathing changed. It was slower, deeper, calmer. She wasn't afraid anymore.

Then some movement. The squeal of the cot springs, presumably Wanda had sat down. I couldn't figure anything else out, I was just listening to two people breathing, one more than twice the speed of the other.

I could feel anger rising in me for what I was going to have to allow to happen. For the first time ever, the practical part of my brain was being threatened by emotions. I gritted my teeth and had to restrain myself from growling. Trust Wanda and Mel to break me now.

"Tell me something Doc. What's your real name?"

What the hell? Why did she want to know that?

Doc sniffed before replying. "Eustace. It's a family name and my parents were cruel people." I realised Doc was crying from his voice. Practical me vs heightened emotions, score 2-0.

She laughed. Then sighed. When I couldn't see her, she sounded so like Mel. I couldn't look at her eyes and see Mel completely but I could always hear her in that voice. It was the first and foremost thing that stopped me killing her in that hole before. She always sounded like Mel.

"Jared's waiting, back by the big cave. I promised him you'd tell him when it was over. Just wait until I – until I... stop moving, okay?" I retched internally. There was no noise and no movement, but did I have to swallow _something _back. "It will be too late for him to do anything about my decision then." _Thank you Wanda, stop Doc before Wanda stops moving._

"I don't want to do this, Wanda." Why was Doc so anguished? He sounded like Ian...

"I know. Thanks for that, Doc. But I'm holding you to your promise."

"Please?"

I was getting the feeling I was missing something here. And that I wouldn't like it when I found out what.

"No. You gave me your word. I did my part didn't I?" She sounded almost harsh. This was so unusual for Wanda.

"You did."

"Then do yours. Let me stay with Walt and Wes."

Suddenly everything clicked. The way she completely avoided Jamie. That look at Doc during her tribunal. The way she revealed everything to me in the corridor. The murmurings I overheard while she was with Ian. The strange questions she was asking me and Doc. She thought these were going to be the last things she would know. Her last chance. Her last memories.

The roaring in my ears was back. However this time it was directed right at her.

I yelled strings of profanities in my head, so loud that I was astounded that they didn't hear me. My muscles were locked into place to prevent me from running in there and pulling her out of there, forcefully if necessary.

They were talking but I couldn't hear them. I couldn't even think, I was that numbed by my anger.

Slowly, painfully, endlessly, my anger began to manifest itself as I lost control. My body began to hum as I shuddered with the task of holding it back and my muscles contracted, curling my hands into fists. It was a slow decent into the red haze of madness and I didn't try to stop myself.

I only had to hold myself back until Wanda was out of it. That seemed like an impossible task. I had to pull myself back from the brink of a jump, without fear, while everything around me was urging me forward.

But I wasn't going to hurt her. Not again.

I had to know what was happening. I couldn't hear anything now so I had to see. Not having the control to be careful, I walked out into the light robotically, letting the occupants of the room see me clearly.

**A/N: **Another weekend, another chapter. This one was hard to write. I hope it doesn't sound stiff. I'm now at the end of Wanda's time in Mel's body though so I have more freedom as to what happens and what is said.  
However, reviews (encouragement and/or criticism both very very welcome) were the main thing that encouraged me to persevere with this chapter and I am sure that will be true for all the remaining chapters. So massive thanks to anyone who has reviewed, I hope this chapter meets with your approval.  
Ian next chapter, I promise. I'm looking forward to getting into the head of my favourite character (fangirl and proud)


	4. Need

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. The lines that come directly from 'The Host' are her words and not mine. I simply play with her creations.  
Please note: Slightly more mature content in a few sentences of this chapter.

**Floating without Fear – 4. Need**

"_You did."_

"_Then do yours. Let me stay with Walt and Wes."_

How did Ian find out about Wanda's decision?

* * *

Ian

I awoke slowly. I couldn't remember the last time I woke up less than eight hours after I went to sleep, but something was calling to me. Bleary-eyed, I could sense something indistinct pulling at me. I rolled over, trying to place it. The movement turned my head to the sky where I could clearly see three stars. There was something wrong with them.

They were pulsing. I could physically feel it. The stars were _gloating_ at me. What the hell?

I'd liked the stars before all this madness started. I used to stare at them for hours from my roof, where I'd climb at about one in the morning, fighting off sleep. But, lately, there was something I didn't like about them.

Oh no wait, I remembered. It was something they didn't like about me. I'd taken something from them. Someone.

_**Wanda.**_

I sat bolt upright, looking for someone I knew wasn't there. The stars had already told me, they had already claimed their daughter back. They were laughing at me, gloating over the fact that she had left me, left a world, left a life, for them. Again.

_No. No, no, no._

I was running before I'd realised I'd stood up.

* * *

Jared

The chloroform smashed on the floor. Doc's eyes flicked to it. He seemed to be considering if I would believe him faking a faint thanks to the fumes. My eyes dared him to try it.

"What. Are. You. Doing." I didn't recognise my voice, it was so cold and dead. He looked positively terrified.

"How long have you been outside?" he said, several notes higher than normal. Panicked.

"Long enough to have good reason to knock you unconscious."

"This is what she wants, Jared."

"Like _hell _it is Doc. She wants to stay here. You knew that when you _promised_," I mocked the word, "to do this."

"She wants –"

"To give Mel back. I know. We can have them both."

He was shaking his head before I'd even started talking. "I gave my word, Jared."

"You think I give a –" I cut myself off, refusing to let my anger out. "Look Doc. That body belongs to me."

"How can you say that? You don't own them."

"No, I don't own them, their souls, but I own that body." He was silent, stunned with disbelief and even slight disgust. "You know what I'm getting at. You _know_." I hesitated, going into dangerous territory here, but willing to try anything. "I've seen you and Sharon. You have the same feeling. The certain times, the certain looks, the certain ways that she can get your body to respond, without your mind or soul even having an ounce of power to resist. She owns you like that. Like I own Mel and she owns me."

His eyes were far away. Or not so far. More like just though a couple of cave corridors, to wherever his vivid-haired woman was. I was getting to him.

"I refuse to let you hurt what is _mine_."

His eyes came back to me, certain steel in them. I readied myself.

"I am not." I stared at him. "Melanie's body will not be harmed. It will be left in the exact same condition as it is now. I am h- ... hurting only the soul." He held up a hand before I could start. I'd never seen Doc like this. He was more commanding than I'd ever imagined. "Not even your Melanie's soul. I am not touching anyone that is truly yours."

I felt flat, a balloon that someone left for far too long. I wanted to protest. I wanted to scream at him, tell him how I felt about Wanda but I knew it wasn't my place to. I knew someone else had a prior claim there. A claim as strong as mine to Mel was. But he isn't here.

* * *

Lily

How bad is it when you start looking at your own pain as a third party observer? I could hear myself crooning his name in my head but it sounded like someone else, just with my voice. I couldn't deal with it, so I was distancing myself, is that it?_ God, Lily, this is weak. He wouldn't want you to do this!_

I've told myself that so many times, yet, I... find I have to... disappoint him.

Someone was running towards me, past me, away from me. Someone in as much pain as I was. I could tell. But they had hope yet, and I did not.

_Wes. Wes._

* * *

Isaiah

I was bored. I was always bored. There was nothing to do down here but work. Work is boring. And Jamie is in a mood. His scary soul-in-sister's-body was avoiding him. Huh, you'd think he'd be happy about that. Apparently she was leaving too. That sucks, I wanted to see her once. Just to see what's so scary, to show her I could beat her.

To show Mom too.

Boy, Ian looks torn up. He's going really fast too. Maybe Kyle annoyed him again?

* * *

Ian

I ignored everyone and everything I went past, as I ran for the hospital. I got an impression of how my own face must look from the expressions of the ones I went past. My emotions were plain and bare, that much was obvious.

_Please God, don't let anyone stop me. And don't let her have gone. Don't let the stars be right._

I will never know if it was pure luck that made sure no one did try to make me stop, or if it was just that the amount of pain and anger and fear and hatred and love on my face froze them the instant they saw it. I favour the second.

My brain was working painfully fast while I was running. I could see what she had hidden from me. I could see that in her mind she had already said good bye, in that cave bedroom, while I held her close. I refused to let that be her goodbye. I wanted her back. She _was NOT _allowed to die.

Everything made sense. As I ran down the corridor, I heard Doc's voice, disembodied; "I am not touching anyone that is truly yours." He was talking to Jared.

_No, but you are killing someone that is truly _mine_!_

* * *

Jared

I'd had enough. I took the knife I'd been hiding in my sleeve out and trained in on Doc's nose. He went cross-eyed staring at it and I could see that he recognised it as one of his own medicinal tools.

"**No, but you are killing someone that is truly **_**mine**_**!**"

Both of us whipped round. By some miracle, I avoided scaring his face. The words weren't shouted, or even said in anger. They were a simple, powerful voicing of fact. Not a plea or a request but an unavoidable statement, which brooked no argument.

_A night of miracles, it seems. _My internal voice was a brilliant mix of cynical and joyful. I told it to shut up.

Ian had clearly been running here like lightening, but he wasn't even gasping for breath. I knew the look in his eyes,I saw it in my own almost every time I see them. He was fighting for the one he loved, and he didn't care what happened, that one person was going to get away.

Coldly, I turned back to Doc.

* * *

**A/N:** Oh the power of a cliffhanger ending!

This is hot off the press again, so any grammatical or spelling errors you see, point them out.

Hopefully I have shown Ian's character fairly truly. He's my favourite so I was quite scared of ruining him.

There is a reason for Isaiah and Lily being in there as well, it'll become clear later on. I haven't actually had the book as a reference for this chapter, so hopefully his name is spelt right.

On the subject of Isaiah, it was so painful to type the word 'Mom' in his POV. I typed 'Mum' first accidently, then had to go back. So, for all the Americans out there, I can use 'Mom' for The Host, so you can use 'Mum' for Harry Potter. Please!

Once again, I'm not happy with the chapter title. If anyone has a better suggestion, please mention it.

Also, sorry for the wait of two weeks guys, but my weekend last week was crazy. If I tell you that the first time I woke up on Sunday last week, I physically couldn't find my eyelids to open them. I didn't think it was even possible to be that tired! But, its true so there you go.

Thank you so much for all the support guys. This is the best response I've ever had to a story (not surprising seen as I've only written 3) but I honestly didn't expect Fw/oF to be this popular. You are my biggest inspiration so please, keep on reading and reviewing!

And it is now 2.02 am, my time. Must learn to write during the day, and not at night...


	5. Determination

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I simply play with her creations.

**Floating without Fear – 5. Determination**

'_It wasn't black at all – it was blue. Warm, vibrant, brilliant blue... I floated into it with no fear at all."_

How did Ian and Jared convince Doc? And exactly how far did 'duress' go?

* * *

Ian

My breathing got noticeably shallower as I took in the room, even to me. Wanda/Mel's body was lying calmly on the cot, unmoving except for her steadily rising and falling chest, her short hair trapped softly in the corner of her mouth. I couldn't say it was just Wanda now, it was impossible to see her through Mel's body. Weakness suddenly threw itself on my legs, an aftershock from everything that was so wrong in this moment. It took everything I had to stay still and just stare at Doc, rather than shove him out of the way, reawaken Wanda and quite possibly tie her to me permanently so she could never do this to me again.

One look at the knife in Jared's hand and I could guess how stubborn Doc was going to be. My rage was suddenly gone, covered over by a curtain of cold certainty.

_Hm, I wonder if this is what Jared feels like when he's raiding._

* * *

Jared

"There you go, Doc." There was mockery in my voice, the knife unerringly finding its way to his throat. "You don't harm either of them now. Understand."

To his credit, he didn't flinch. He took in the two of us, furious, burning with protectiveness and far beyond being reasonable, and just stood there, unafraid. "It is what they want."

"Lies." Ian said, in the same very final voice. "This is what she thinks is right. What she is supposed to do. And there is no way on this earth or any other that I am letting her do it. And don't even try to argue Melanie's case with me, it's obvious that Mel wants Wanda to be happy and live just as much as I do. She just can't win against Wanda."

"Because Wanda has control of her body. How in the hell could she fight that?" His words had got my back up and I just had to defend Mel. Ian just twitched, like trying to get rid of an irritating fly.

"I'm sorry Ian," Doc replied, ignoring me as well. "But I promised her."

"Time to break your promise Doc. I am not above killing you to get her back."

By God, he sounded like me. And this time, Doc blanched. The deadly tone of his voice was far more threatening than my knife-wielding hand.

* * *

Doc

This was hell.

Whoever first coined the phrase 'Stuck between a rock and a hard place' had never imagined this. I didn't want to kill Wanda any more than they wanted to lose her. No idea why Jared was so insistent on this though, you'd have thought he would be happy to get his girlfriend back.

I tried not to swallow overmuch as the tip of my own long scalpel pressed those few centimeters closer to my Adam's apple. I could see it in their eyes; they could and _would_ kill me to get to the soul I protected.

Could I break a promise?

I'd never broken a promise. It was something ingrained into me by my mother, who'd suffered through so many broken promises of the men she oh-so-easily fell in love with. Listening to her cry, the noise echoing through the empty, massive corridors of our too big house; that was when I decided I would never break a promise.

But this particular promise was causing pain to so many. People loved Wanda; I didn't want to even picture Jamie's face when he discovered she was gone. There was already too much hurt in the two men before me for comfort, even though it was hidden by anger and fear in both of their eyes.

But, honor was an integral part of me. I couldn't…

* * *

Ian

He was wavering. We could see it, smell it like dogs on the hunt. I had no idea what we were going to do, but Doc wasn't going to kill the thing that had made life enjoyable again, rather than just something I'd been going through the motions of.

Jared was turned into me, shoulder to shoulder. An impenetrable wall. My left arm was pressed so close to his right, the one holding the knife, that I could very easily push him to murder with one nudge of my arm. In fact, the only thing that was holding me back at this point is the picture of Wanda's (Mel's?) horrified face in my head.

Odd though, that this is the thing that brought Jared and I back together into the team we had been before Wanda had found her way here. This was how it used to be.

One flash of my eyes towards his and...

* * *

Doc

Jared's arm was around my shoulders, holding my head high up. The scalpel pricked at my skin, breaking it and, by God, I could feel my blood sliding down my neck.

"Now Doc. Choose."

**A/N: **Yes, I am an evil Author, for making you wait so long just for a chapter that ends on the same cliffhanger as the last one! *Evil laughter*  
I kinda like making Ian and Jared the bad guys, just for a little while. Its just a little sexy.

For anyone who doesn't know, I am incredibly sorry for making F w/o F wait this long for updates. College got in the way. A lot. I'm giving myself the night off from more important things to do things like write and sketch. I need to, for my own (sketchy) sanity.

As ever, apologies for mistakes. Straight from my head. I could really use a Beta, if anyone is interested? Maybe they could make sure I update more!

Review please, con crit is always welcome. Flames, not so much.


	6. Awe

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I simply play with her creations. Also disclaim the direct quote at the end.

**Floating without Fear – 6. Awe**

**Hm, that was different. I remember that. Oh, it's called Pain.**

How did Jared deal with the extraction of Wanda's soul?

* * *

Jared

It seemed like hour as we watched the emotions and obligations play out on Doc's face. Normally the man was almost inscrutable, but with a knife pressed to his gullet, you could understand.

Then suddenly, he said, "Okay." sounding almost happy. Instantly I didn't trust him. He was a stubborn man, unrelenting from his personal code of honour, and this weirdly instantaneous decision didn't sit well with me.

Ian clearly had a differing opinion as the next order in his eyes told me wordlessly to drop the knife. I had no idea when I started taking orders from O'Shea, but I couldn't deny that I was. The tool went slack, comfortable but ready, in my hand, which returned to its place by my side. It felt strange to be looking at the angry line it left on Doc's neck, a few drops of blood trickling down from it, but somehow I couldn't find the remorse I knew I should be feeling somewhere in my body.

Ian sagged, his exhaustion and weakness suddenly allowed to show, as he sat on the edge of the unoccupied cot, his hand raking through his dark hair, leaving furrows behind his fingers. His face was sallow and arms trembling slightly. It was a look I recognised, I'd been there. Even worse, I'd seen it on Jamie's face.

"What now?" Doc asked, seeing that we were now at some kind of silent stalemate, fear crossing his face again. I had no idea why.

"We bring Mel back." I stated. This was going to happen; no one was going to forget about my girl. "Exactly as Wanda wanted." I cringed, hearing that my tone was somewhat defensive. I just couldn't get the authority and finality that Ian was mastering.

Ian's sigh was impressive. A turmoil of emotions, all being shrugged off his shoulders so he could deal with what was before him. "Yes. Doc, tell me how to get her out."

"What?" Our two voices blended together, him yelping, me furious.

"No one is touching her but me."

"You are not going _near_ my girlfriend with a knife!"

"Such little belief in me, Jared? After all, you trained me yourself."

True. He'd been a city boy before this craziness, and I'd trained both him and (daily did I regret it) Kyle how to use knifes. But still.

"No way, not a chance," followed by several expressions that would get me slapped by Mel, had she heard them. I got the impression both of them were rather impressed by my extensive vocabulary of swear words.

As I carried on shaking my head, while they both looked at me, I knew I was going to lose this argument. Already it was like I was just denying the impossible, and with that weird authority in O'Shea's eyes, you just couldn't stop him. I was still shaking my head as he took the scalpel from my suddenly unrelenting hand.

* * *

Ian

I don't think Jared realised how his eyes were openly pleading with me, as I took that scalpel. They were unadulterated pools, begging me to be careful with the most important thing in his life, the thing that he could finally see the chance of getting back, after having lost it so many times. He knew he could not stop me, which was a heady enough feeling for me, as he normally gave the orders.

But this was right. This was what I had to do. Survival instinct.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, putting every emotion away for later inspection, and focused.

"How, Doc?"

* * *

Jared

His explanation was a blur. Ian nodded along, while I refused to think. I finally just had to trust him. The thing that was truly hardest for me; trust.

That was why I had to lead in everything, I couldn't trust Mel and Jamie to anyone else.

But I had failed to protect Mel. She'd been taken.

But she fought. She brought Wanda here.

And Wanda had improved everything.

Wanda had made them all halfway human again.

_What was the word for that?_ _Ah yes, irony._ It took a soul to make us all human again.

I just couldn't look as he made the incision. I knew I would leap up and stop him if I looked. I prayed, actually prayed, to not see any blood. I could _not_ deal with Mel's hurt, ever. Seeing her blood would probably send me insane, and I would wreck everything, quite possibly killing her and Wanda together. Then Ian would kill me. But... who would kill him? He wouldn't be separated from her, even in death.

My mind was going in eight different directions at once. Nothing at all like I usually was. I couldn't deal with being stone anymore, though Ian seemed to be doing pretty well. Then I heard him gasp.

Looking around, I was repulsed. He was holding a wavering silver... _thing_, which looked like it couldn't decide if it was an octopus or a fairy. It was horrid and alien and... Beautiful. Pure, helpless, dancing softly. Things I feared and loved, all mixed up together

_Wanda._

* * *

Ian

_She was so_ _beautiful._

**A/N: **Yay, finally got somewhere, plot wise. Good news folks, this story is coming more naturally to me again, so maybe I'll be able to write it faster!  
Usual applies to spelling and grammar mistakes.

Just to see if this works, I am going to be mean to you people. I'll update when, lets say **15** of you review. Remember, things I can improve, questions you have: **Very** welcome.  
**15 reviews for the next chapter! **This is Elriaen, at half one in the morning, Goodnight!


	7. Certainty

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am simply playing with her creations.

**Floating without Fear – 7. Certainty**

**What on Earth? Or maybe on it, but not **_**from**_** it. Why do I feel... heavy? ... Jared?**

How did Melanie arrive in the caves?

* * *

Ian

I didn't need the warnings Doc was trying to form, though he was failing miserably through his wonder. A delicate tendril of the being I loved reached up to me and, impossible as it may be, I will always believe she knew who I was in that moment. I knew then, that she loved me. Fully and totally for herself. My eyes and face were shining in her glow, and the pain of waking alone finally disappeared, replaced by the certainty of her love.

Sighing gently, and ridiculously overjoyed when the soul in my hands responded to my breath, I looked for the cryotank I knew she needed. Reluctantly, I eased her into it and was gently pulling away my hands when a shot rang out in the hallway.

"JARED HOWE, IAN O'SHEA! Get your hands** off** that girl!"

Everyone froze as Jeb burst through the doorway.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came. Doc was stunned, leaning back on one hip against the shelf where all his tools were perfectly arranged, his left hand resting, forgotten, just below his slightly open mouth. Jared's face was rubbed red as he looked up from his hands in surprise, looking entirely gormless for a second before guilt crept into his face.

I knew how he felt. I was squirming where I stood as well, my hands caught in the proverbial cookie jar, as they held Wanda in the tank. I had no idea how, but that old man had managed to make the two of us feel like naughty little boys! I had the urge to whip my hands away from Wanda and pull on the completely innocent, pleading look that Kyle swears down is irresistible.

_Screw it_, I thought, quickly sealing up Wanda's tank before I had to deal with the protective, gun happy, salvation provider that also happened to be my love's sister's uncle. Hm, how convoluted. But, if you want to look at it that way, Jeb was the closest thing Mel and Wanda had to a father, so I guess that makes Jared and I the irritating boys messing with Jeb's daughters. Add in the fact that he is almost a father figure to us too... and it all just gets far too confusing. _Deal with the problem at hand Ian._

A slight cough interrupted us again.

"Ha ha, Ian and Jared are in trouble," sing-songed a very familiar voice, no less gleeful for its weakness.

* * *

Jared

"Mel." I almost whispered in relief, moving towards the slowly wakening woman on the bed like a ghost. Before she even opened her eyes, she was reaching for me and I took her hand. I didn't even notice I was crying until a drop hit against her forearm, making her bright hazel, completely silver-free eyes open instantly.

"You never cry," she whispered to me, apparently as afraid as I was that this was just a wonderful daydream.

I gave a weak smile. "You're wrong, honey." Shutting out the rest of the room, and the rest of the world for that matter, I pressed my forehead to hers, murmuring softly to her. "I've cried _so_ many times for you, love." Her arm came up around my back, pulling us closer, both of us staring directly into the other's teary eyes. "When I found that note... the world had already ended but, God, it _imploded_ in that second Mel. I lost count of the amount of times I broke down after that. Jamie, poor kid, had to deal with it, then we found this place and slowly the people here put me back together again. But never totally, because I can't _be_ without you, baby. I missed you."

Everything I felt when I lost her were in those last three words. All the emotions I didn't even know myself and I knew, just _knew_, she understood. That was one of the best things about Mel, she got me without even trying, she could tell how I was feeling instantly. My only saving grace is that fact that I could do the exact same thing with her.

"I missed you too. I love you."

Her lips were already reaching for mine as I found them.

* * *

Ian

All of us turned away as Jared and Mel had their teary reunion. Motioning to Jeb, I carried Wanda with me into the corner and explained. Understandably, he was furious that everyone had been ignoring him in his own caves, especially Wanda's attempt at death.

"Don't worry Jeb, when Wanda gets back she has me to answer to for _that_ particular stunt."

He chuckled, slinging the gun casually over his shoulder, "Try to leave some for the rest of us, son." I gave him a wry smile but made no promises. I was furious at the soul in my arms.

Sighing, the older man flicked a glance over his shoulder, a vaguely disgusted look flicking over his face as he saw his niece glued to her boyfriend at the lips. Ignoring them, he turned to the problem before him. Literally.

"What now, son? She doesn't want to be a parasite anymore."

"Honestly Jeb, I don't know. All I know is, she is not allowed to die."

He laughed aloud at that flat statement, causing Mel to finally break away from Jared.

"Uncle Jeb?"

"Hey there, Ni-ni."

"Oh, Uncle Jeb, I _hate_ that stupid nickname!" she growled as she vaulted out of bed and into his open arms.

"I know." He laughed, "That's why only I can call you it! It's good to have to you back honey." He pushed her hair away from her eyes as he looked at her. His face was alive with joy, in the way I'd only ever seen once before; when Jamie had made it to the caves.

"Easy honey," Jared quickly said, hurrying over. "You don't want to overexert yourself."

The look she shot at him could have burned rubber. "Overexert myself, Jared? I have been trapped in my own head, except it _wasn't_ my own, for almost a year! If I want to run to Africa and back, I damn well will!"

Whoa, how did sweet Wanda deal with _that_ fiery character in her mind? The real Melanie couldn't be more different than Wanda. I bet they'd had some fierce mind arguments before.

"As it is," Melanie continued, "I think I'll just run and find my brother."

* * *

Yes, I am very late with this. I think we got to 16 reviews total and that was awhile ago...

Oh well, blame exams and busy life. As ever, mistakes, con crit, encouragment, all very welcome, just hit that review link below.

This chapter owes itself to Yiruma's AWESOME piano playing and also to x3R4v3er on Youtube, for uploading it.

So, on to the most important bit. 15 reviews guys, and you get a new Chapter. Seen as we went one over last time, I'll count that as the first, so only 14 left!


	8. Safety

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am simply playing with her creations.

**Floating without Fear – 8. Safety**

**Jamie.**

What did Jamie do when Mel came back?

* * *

Jared

She couldn't mean literally run. I mean, I'm all for seeing Jamie again, telling the kid everything that has been happening but – **Mel!**

Damn it, I forgot how fast she was. Surely this isn't fair. As she'd just said, Mel had been stuck without the ability to move for nearly a year. She needed to rest and recover, didn't she? She shouldn't be able to run away from me so fast, so strong, so sure of where she was going. It was like she knew the caves- oh wait... _She was there all along you prat._

I swear I fell in love with her again in that moment. We were racing through the caves, young and whole again, her dark hair whipping over her shoulder as she looked back. She was laughing and put on another burst of speed to widen the gap between us. That wasn't allowed. I _was_ faster than my girlfriend.

Suddenly managing to catch her up, I grabbed her around the waist, pulling us both down. She struggled like a wild thing as we rolled on the rough hewn rock floor, unable to restrain her laughter enough to properly protest. All I could see was her, all I could hear was her, all I could smell was her; just the way I adored it. Finally she managed to sober up and we ended up upright again, facing each other while slightly breathless. Looking into her wholly hazel eyes again, I smiled more easily than I had in months and she jubilantly returned my smile.

Her face crumpled suddenly with the emotion of the moment and she was nuzzling into my neck, giving me that singular thrill that always came with the feeling that this woman, who would and could fight the world alone, trusted and wanted me to protect her. I wrapped my arms around her, sinking my hands into her back pockets and releasing a breath as I finally had my Mel back, safe and close to me again.

Someone came skidding to a stop at the end of the corridor and I felt Mel stiffen. We both knew who it was; no one else would have so easily recognised the sounds of our roughhousing. Only one person had ever seen and heard us do it before.

I released Mel. For this moment, she belonged entirely to her brother.

* * *

Mel

He knew it was me. Jamie had always been the only one that would entirely separate Wanda and me. His deep brown eyes were full of disbelief, hope and wonder. I could almost hear his internal debate, his desperate hope fighting against the voice that was telling him it was impossible for me to be back. In that second, I felt what he must have been through when I didn't come back. I was supposed to always come back, that used to be the foundation of his life and now it was shaken. His faith in me was cracked and I needed to fix it. I could read my little brother, I'd always been able to and now he wouldn't be able to believe what he needed to, and wanted to, most.

Not without my help anyway.

I strode over to him, watching his eyes widen. I was wearing a scowl that he recognized, the one he always got when he was in trouble. _Good, I'm still scarier angry than anything else he's been through._ His breathing got faster as I got right into his face, looking at him down my nose (it was going to _suck_ when he got taller than me) with my eyes like flint. Of course he forgot everything that had happened since he'd last seen me, he was far too busy wracking his brains for what he did to make me angry. That instant, I grabbed his shoulders and hugged him tight.

"Mel…" he whispered.

"Let it go, Jamie. Yes, I'm back. You're just my little brother again and there is no way you are allowed to repress all these emotions. Don't think I wasn't watching you, you've been taking on way too much and not trusting Jared nearly enough."

"B-but… Jared with W-Wanda-"

"Hush. I know. But did you honestly think that meant you were allowed to worry so much about everything? I'm sure you deceived everyone else, but this is me. You can never hide yourself from me."

He collapsed onto me, openly crying into my chest as I held him upright. I knew this was the only way he'd honestly and instantly believe it was his sister, back again. Jamie's cheeky and cheery attitude was a cover for his fear and always had been. He was a worrier and could paralyze himself borrowing trouble. Even when he was worried before all this crap, he'd smile and try to blag himself out of it, making light of even serious accidents. I'd learnt how to get through to him from Dad. You had to shock him, remind him that he really was only a kid and didn't have responsibility for the entire world. Jamie needed someone strong enough, that knew him so well that they were able to cut through the cover and force him to admit how scared he was. Then we could deal with that fear and free him from it.

Jared had been so wrapped up in this drama himself that he hadn't been able to deal with Jamie as he normally would have. Seriously, I'd been going out of my head in Wanda's – _Oh God, that wasn't even meant to be a pun! – _watching all these people going insane, when all they really needed was me to yell at them. Sharon, Doc, Jamie, Ian, Jared – my goodness, when I am through, they will kiss the ground Wanda walks on and probably _beg_ her to take back my body!

But one at a time. Well, maybe two in this case. Jared had come round us, pressing himself in behind Jamie and wrapping his arms around us both. I flicked my eyes up to him briefly, just letting him know that I hadn't forgotten him and we would have the talk we desperately needed. Surprise flickered in his blue eyes as well but he quickly nodded, understanding me without words. I could hear people behind us, whispering and wondering, but Jared started to pull us away towards the room that would now belong to the two of us.

With our arms wrapped around each other, Jamie leaning mostly on Jared and I, we walked away, back to being the dysfunctional and unusual family that survived the end of the world. This was my family and I was back.

* * *

My goodness, I cannot wait to write Mel vs Sharon and all the rest. She is so much fun to write!

Yeah, we didn't get 15 reviews guys but oh well, I wanted to write so I did. As ever, con crit, plot ideas, mistakes you noticed, just hit that review button and tell me!

For those that were wondering, yes Ian and Jeb are still in the hospital and I will get back to them either next chapter or the one after.

I promised myself I'd write new chapters for both my unfinished stories today and it has taken me all day just for this! On to the next!


	9. Author's Note

Author's Note

Hello, anyone out there!

I'm very impressed you're still reading this story after the long gap between updates. I'm sorry to get your hopes up with this but it's just a note to explain what's going on.

Since starting this story I've moved to university where I no longer have my copy of 'The Host'. I have attempted to write the next chapter but I am so unsure of the names of characters and relationships between the people I want to feature that I don't want to publish it. Not to mention, I am immensely busy so have little time to write. So it's unlikely that this story will be updated until around summer time when I go home again to get my copy of the book and have a long period of time free.

Maybe by then the movie will have come out (trailer looks damn good) and interest will be at a high again!

Rest assured though, this story is not going to be abandoned, nor is it close to finishing. It just might take me along time to finish it off.

Thanks for your continued support

Elriaen


	10. Rediscovery

**Disclaimer:**I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am simply playing with her creations.

**FYI: Slight warning about Mel's language**

**Floating without Fear – 9. Rediscovery**

**Jared...**

Could Mel and Jared see each other the same way after everything they went through?

* * *

Mel

By the time we'd got back to our room, Jamie was half asleep. His slumped shoulders and tired eyes made him seem younger again, though he wouldn't like me saying it. He was dead on his feet so I gleefully took the rare chance to baby him again.

I nodded at Jared, a grin splitting my face. His own grin appeared as he quickly swept Jamie's legs from under him. Jamie was too sleepy to do anything but yelp as Jared caught him, lifted him right up into his arms like a child then tossed him gently onto the double mattress where I was holding him before he could blink.

"Hey!" he weakly protested, fighting his drooping eyelids. "Don't do that, I'm not a kid!"

Jared chuckled as he crawled round behind us. "Sure you're not kid. Go to sleep."

"No! I don't want-"

"Shhh Jamie, I'm still going to be here when you wake up." I said, already understanding why he didn't want to close his eyes. "Promise."

He didn't give up the fight, his worried eyes still on me. He didn't even protest as Jared pulled us both closer, so my head rested on his shoulder and Jamie was nestled against us, held close by both sets of arms. "Have I ever broken a promise to you?" I reminded him gently, a smile playing over my lips.

He smiled too and relaxed, his eyes locked on mine even as they closed. I began to hum, another thing he would never have allowed normally. Our mother used to sing but I don't have her voice so humming was better. Before long, I had a deeply asleep little brother in danger of drooling over my top and I became aware of Jared's tears soaking into my hair.

I tried to bring my head up to look at him but he refused to let me. "You aren't supposed to see me cry." he said, his voice muffled by my hair and his tears.

"Bollocks." I said flatly, making him laugh a little. "I'm the love of your life, I get to see everything."

"I guess that's true. But just this once, you'll have to miss it. Don't move, I am in the middle of one of my best dreams. I-I never thought this could happen again. Never thought you'd come back."

"Well I did. I'm right here Jared and I'm not going anywhere. If I know you, I'm unlikely to leave your sight again!"

I expected him to laugh but the protective growl that came out of his mouth instead wasn't entirely unexpected. "You think you're joking, don't you?" His arm around my waist got tighter as did the one around Jamie's back. "Seriously Mel, I don't think I'll ever be able to breathe easily without being able to see you are safe."

I definitely pulled back then so he could see my frown. "Jared Howe, I am not some biddable weak little woman. I will not be restricted to staying within your sight at all times!"

His eyes blazed. "The last time I let you go out on your own you almost died! Multiple times!"

"_Let_ me?! Did you say _let_ me go? As if I need your permission?!"

Jamie moaned, disturbed by our rising voices. Almost guiltily, we both glanced at him and pulled him closer, waiting for him to settle again.

I was being such an idiot! Of course Jared was scared of losing me again, I was terrified of losing him too! It was only normal that he would want to know I was safe from now on, I shouldn't instantly go all feminist on him. We barely ever argued before, how did we end up in an argument within half an hour of me getting my body back?!

"Jared?" I said, just as he called my name. We both stopped. We didn't need to apologise, we didn't even need to laugh at the timing. I could see his apology and his laughter, as well as his overwhelming happiness and still some disbelief in his eyes and knew the same shined through mine.

"Oh God I missed you." he said, as we met in a tender kiss above my brother's head.

I broke the kiss off before it could deepen. Which it would, without either of us meaning it to. My body was already aching for him, if it wasn't for Jamie collapsed over both of us, we wouldn't be talking right now.

"Sure?" I asked, a little ruefully. "You missed by stubborn independence?"

He growled protectively again. "Of course, and your argumentativeness and your strange lingering belief that you will ever be able to outrun me and the way you tease me and the way you get so indignant and feminist. I missed _you_, Mel, every crazy bit."

"Thanks for only mentioning the bad ones."

"Would you like me to start on the rest? We might be here awhile. You are brilliantly clever, so amazingly strong, stunningly beautiful, wonderfully loving-"

"Okay, okay!"

"You can't take a compliment." He teased, using the exact tone he listed the others in. I let go of Jamie with one hand to thump him in the chest, making him chuckle again.

Letting my breath escape slowly through my nose, I curled closer to him again. The sensation of him pressing against my arm, hip, leg, head, shoulder and everywhere else felt so very good. I hadn't been able to feel for so long, being back here with the two of them is exactly where I wanted to start again. But my head felt strangely empty. My family wasn't complete with just us three anymore, I missed my sister.

"Thinking of Wanda?" Jared asked. I quirked an eyebrow up at him, wondering how he knew. "You sighed. Before you only sounded that way for Jamie but as we have him here, Wanda must deserve it now. What're you thinking love?"

"I miss her. Obviously I don't miss being trapped, your rock solid abs feel fantastic right now." He grinned, taking the compliment with far more grace than I ever could. "But it is strange, that she's not talking to me anymore, that I can't see her memories anymore and I can't feel how much she loves anymore."

He squirmed a very tiny bit, something only I would recognise. Or maybe Wanda would too now. "How much she loves?"

"Yeah," I replied simply, unsure of how to start the conversation we needed to have.

As always, he got more courage to face up to it as he saw that I was struggling. "It wasn't just your love that brought the two of you here, was it?"

I sighed, pulling Jamie closer. "You don't need me to answer that."

"No. She loved us too." My mouth twisted uncomfortably as he included Jamie in that. Wanda loving Jamie wasn't the issue and he knew it. His voice dropped to just above a whisper as he saw my discomfort and, of course, knew why. "She loved me."

"Yeah, she did. Does."

There was a tense silence which made me even more uncomfortable. It wasn't supposed to be this way with Jared. Before silences were filled with knowing what he was thinking, knowing how he was feeling. Back when his love for me was completely unrivalled.

He was fidgeting which showed how nervous he was. He could usually hide his emotions perfectly and would never normally show such an obvious sign. The words I said next hung between us in the air until they were so heavy, I had to say them.

"You love her too."

He almost interrupted me so I was less ashamed of the break in my voice. "But I love you so much more Mel! You know that, please tell me you know that!"

"I do!" I couldn't look at him. "I understand, everything that has happened, you couldn't help loving her. But-"

"It still hurts. I know Mel, but I promise, I will never love anyone more than you for all our lives. I love _you_."

"That kiss, the one outside the caves. I-I almost believe it didn't happen. How could I have let it happen? I knew then, knew that you loved her and she loved you but she loved Ian too and she was leaving and it was my fault she loved you but I let her! How could I have let anyone?!"

"Because it was her. Wanda. She's special Mel and that moment was for her. That was the only reason we both could love her enough to let her have that. I hurt her so much, you so much. That moment was everything I could give her without hurting you more than would kill me."

"I understand why you did everything that you did. I just can't deal with _everything_ right now."

"I know, I know. Just please don't go anywhere. Please don't run from me."

And I guess that was the final proof that we would get through this. Even through everything, everything I was feeling, I never wanted to leave his arms.

* * *

Hi very loyal and probably very surprised readers! Hopefully this chapter lived up to the what, 2 year wait? I did promise it would be summer!

To get back into this story I watched the film (which could have been done far better), re-read the book, re-read my own story and did long backstories/character profiles for every member of the cave rebels. And it still took awhile for Mel and Jared to come back to my fingertips! But I have to say, I think this is my favourite chapter so far. As ever, please tell me what you think, even if it is just, "How dare you keep us hanging for so long! I refuse to read the rest of this story in protest!"

P.S I know previously in the story I mentioned having to use Mom for Mum for American characters pained me, even though I knew it was correct. However, just because I'm a stubborn English writer, I won't be changing 's' to 'z' in words like 'apologise' or omitting the 'u' from favourite. The characters may well be American but me - stubborn and English are among my strongest character traits.

EDIT: 18/04/2014 - Chapter title change


	11. Differences

**Disclaimer:**I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am simply playing with her creations.

**Floating without Fear – 10. Differences**

_They're both here. I'm home again._

How did Jamie deal with the changes in his family after all they'd been through?

* * *

Jamie

I woke up awhile later, with Jared and Mel's arms still wrapped around me. I think I might have destroyed Mel's shirt drooling, but serves her right for teasing me so much. Just for a little while, I stared at her.

It was like the last two years had never happened. If my feet weren't hanging off the mattress right now from my growth spurt (and please _please_ let there be another one, I _need_ to be taller than Mel!), I might have forgotten they ever happened at all. She was back, actually back. I couldn't resist tracing a finger down her cheek. She'd never normally let me do that. Not that I would try to anyway.

I glanced at Jared, then did a double take before breaking out into another massive grin. I was so used to seeing him worried and tense that seeing him relaxed and smiling even in his sleep was amazing. I had to be careful not to wake either of them worming out of their grip, it was pretty tight. But, I'd had practise so I made it and got to watch them automatically snuggle together in the gap I'd left. I'd forgotten how cute they are together, its gunna be so much fun teasing Mel later!

I sauntered away, heading towards the kitchen area. They probably needed some _alone_ time when they woke up. Thinking of that, I'd probably have to bunk with someone else pretty soon. Urgh, I can still very clearly remember the conversation Jared had with me around when Mel turned 18. It was terrifying enough, I have no desire to accidentally walk in on them or something! I mean, I love 'em, but there are some things you just don't need to picture your sister doing!

Still shuddering a little, I headed through the rough rock arch that marked the dining hall and walked right into a big argument.

Uncle Jeb and Aunt Maggie were right in front of me, in the middle of the room, arguing over the gun.

"Jebediah, if you put that gun in my face one more time I swear I will pull it out of your overlarge hands!"

"I would like to see you try Magnolia!"

Sharon was right next to her mother, ready to start on Uncle Jeb if she needed to but her eyes kept flicking back behind him.

Just to my right, Heidi was trying to convince Lucinda that my sisters were okay. Lucinda's bulgy eyes were bugged out, her grip on Freedom so tight he was wailing and adding to the noise.

"It really is Melanie again? You're sure Heidi?"

"Yes Luce! She's back, what Ian and Doc did was a miracle! Neither Wanda or Melanie are hurt at all!"

At the table on my left, Isaiah was going on and on to Lily about nothing to do with anything. Lucinda had an eye on him though, he was sat right in her sight. Lily was kinda slowly responding to him which was a good thing. Trudy and Geoffrey were sat with her, casting worried glances at Lily occasionally while they tried to talk to each other over everyone else.

"It doesn't make sense to send Wanda away, we need her help!"

"I know dear, but people have been hurt in all this and no one is very rational. Better just let this come to a head now so we can sort it out."

" Maggie is mad if she thinks she can get to Wanda with Ian in the way, Geoff. The boy won't let her go. She's safe Trudy." Heath stood with his arms crossed next to Geoff, too stiff to sit down. He was glaring at Aunt Maggie across the table.

That annoying girl, Lacey, was yelling to the Healer woman, whose name turned out to be Candy, who was to be the only one who would put up with her. They were stood just behind Sharon.

"Don't be so foolish! It goes back! What on earth else are we supposed to do with it?!"

"Lacey, please, we have to consider everyone's opinion. And besides, you're scaring the other one."

Paige seemed to agree though, her blonde hair flapping as her head turned between Lacey and Andy who was next to her and had a tight grip on her hand. Andy's face didn't give anything away but he was sitting on Sharon and Aunt Maggie's side. Brandt was with them too, sat with his elbows on the table and his chin resting on his hand. He seemed to be considering the argument in the middle carefully.

There was another group sat behind Aunt Maggie and Sharon. Travis had his arm around his wife Carol, who looked pretty scared. Their daughter, Ruth-Ann was further back with Reid and Violetta, who seemed to be trying to make her laugh so she didn't look as scared as her mom. The three of them hovered outside the door to the kitchen.

Sitting right back on the edges of the almost circular cave-room, opposite Ruth-Ann and the others, Andy was leant against the wall, half-asleep. Stanley and John stood opposite where I had come in, Stanley a little bit in front. He looked all eager, like he always did when there was a fight, watching and studying everyone in that creepy way. John had a hand on his shoulder, he was watching the gun and was ready to pull Stanley back. I never got why someone so cool as John always hangs around the weedy Stanley.

Doc and Ian sat right behind Uncle Jeb. Kyle was missing. Both were quiet, Ian looked dead on his feet and Doc kept staring at Sharon over Uncle Jeb's shoulder. I could have gagged at the hazy look in his eyes. As if it wasn't bad enough to see Jared do that over Mel!

I skirted round Heath to get to them, asking about Kyle and Sunny when I got close. "Sunny is in another one of these with Kyle, she was crying so much when Doc took her out. Kyle said he'd stay with them both." Ian tiredly explained, while dragging a hand through his hair. His other hand was wrapped around a cryotank.

I gasped. "Is that her?" I asked quickly. I sat down quickly on Ian's other side.

He managed a tired smile and nodded. Something about how stiff his fingers were when he slowly straightened them against the metal told me that he hadn't given Wanda over to anyone else. Good.

"Can I...?" I reached out my hands for it but he pulled back sharply.

Doc laughed a little. "Good luck Jamie, no one has been able to pry his hands away from that tank yet and I don't think anyone will."

Ian gave him a half-hearted glare but was smiling too "Too right. I'm sorry Jamie but, I honestly don't think I can let go of her for now."

I nodded, looked at it for awhile, ignoring the escalating argument between my aunt and uncle. "Do you think maybe, I could... see her sometime?"

"Maybe Jamie. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that your sister might want to be there too." I grinned at him. "But if we get the chance, if it's safe for her, yeah, you can see her."

"What's she look like?"

For the first time today, all the tiredness left his face and his smile lit up his eyes. "Beautiful." was all he said.

* * *

Hello! It's been another long gap hasn't it? I really should be studying for my second year uni exams but this was more fun! Jamie just decided to corner me today and tell me that I needed to continue the story for him. Who am I to protest when the characters want to speak!

Because I'm strange, I actually have two chapters ready, so when you're done here, go find the other one!


	12. Memory

**Disclaimer:**I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am simply playing with her creations.

**Floating without Fear – 11. Memory**

_Wanda had to be able to stay, she belonged here. She always had._

Could the rest of the cave rebels accept Wanda so easily?

* * *

Sharon

I was finished with this ridiculous childish arguing. Honestly, both mother and Uncle Jebediah were over sixty, why do they act worse than Jamie and Isaiah?

"Enough!" I shouted, quietening the room. "This arguing is pointless! We need to decide what is to be done!"

I knew I really shouldn't, but I couldn't help looking over at Eustace again. Jamie had joined them and he was scowling slightly at me. I did not understand that boy. Not at all.

"Right!" Uncle Jebediah said, wanting to get control over the situation again. "Let's move into the Game Room and-"

"Oh do we actually need to move?" my mother demanded, quick to criticize anything her older brother suggested. "Everyone is here, what is the point?!"

"Actually," Brandt said calmly, "I reckon Melanie and Jared should probably be here for this."

"My cousin and Jared have been through a lot over the past few hours. They are most likely asleep, as they deserve to be. But this is too important a problem to wait for." I replied, staring Brandt down until his gaze dropped to the table he was leaning against.

"By that, I'd say that Ian and Doc deserve the chance to get some rest too." Trudy said sharply. "Real rest, that is, without worrying."

Stiffly, I acknowledged her point, my mouth twisting. If Ian decided to sleep, it would delay this discussion which I wanted sorted now. I had lived with the uncertainty of the aliens for too long, I wanted to know where we stood. But Ian would probably suspect that my mother or I would sneak the alien tank away from him in his sleep. Taking a chance on this, I turned to him and Eustace.

"Would you prefer to sleep?" I asked, looking at Ian directly though my question was supposedly addressed to Eustace also.

"No." he replied, after a measured silence while he held my gaze. "I would prefer we resolve this difference in opinion now." His words had become more formal, to match mine. It was a very subtle way of mocking me but I caught it. I had to stop myself from showing my distaste for him on my face.

I nodded, and motioned for Uncle Jebediah to continue as the old man was just about expiring watching me control the room without the need for gun threats. Besides, Ian was my main opponent here, I didn't want the need to be civil to hold me back.

"Right then. Doc, I'm guessing you wanna stay for this too?"

He only nodded impatiently. He was nervous, he wanted this 'debate' to start.

"Alright! People, we have a decision to make."

"Get on with it." mother murmured from beside me. Jebediah often postured before getting to the point and it annoyed her no end. However, I knew her well enough that if she was in charge here, as she so longed to be, she would be even worse.

"Wanda, the Soul we have all come to know, who we can thank for the food we are all enjoying, wanted to end her own life to give back my niece, Melanie Stryder. Mel is back here, healthy and well, thanks to Ian and Doc's op. But, Ian and Jared decided that Wanda's wishes on ending her own life were based on the wrong reasons so have kept her here. We must decide what is to be done with this person we all owe so much too. Proposals?"

* * *

Ian

Most of the room was still reeling from the news that Wanda was willing to give up her own life to give Mel back. There were gasps from around the room at that bit and all the colour drained from Jamie's face. I grabbed his wrist quickly and whispered, "She's okay, she's still here, calm down."

His wide eyes flashed over to me and I had a quick impression of what Jared must have felt towards him the last three years. This kid just looked at me for reassurance and comfort and I have to say it was utterly terrifying when I was so unsure of what I could do to keep Wanda safe. Apparently something helped though, as he nodded, then stood up and said to Jeb, "Wanda stays. She belongs here with us. We owe her our lives and we need her to stay alive."

Andy spoke up against him, his voice strangely soft. "But that means taking another life kid. Which, no matter what we all think of it, she herself said she didn't want to do."

"I think we should send her to one of the other planets they have." Lacey said obnoxiously. "That was her own plan, wasn't it? What she did to those other souls?"

Travis cleared his throat before adding his own opinion to the silence. "That does seem the most fair thing to do. Didn't she mention a place she hadn't been to before? She could lead a happy, new life there."

"The Dolphins," Heidi put in sadly. She clearly didn't want Wanda to leave but was being convinced by the others.

Trudy was looking at me intently, as if waiting for me to speak. Eventually she burst out with what she must have thought I should be saying. "But that is _not_ fair! Wanda has found happiness here! She wouldn't be happy there without er," she glanced at me, apparently not entirely sure if the confusion between Wanda, Mel, Jared and I was simple enough to say that Wanda wouldn't want to live without me. "... Everyone here, her family!"

I sighed very quietly, not sure how that would work out myself. But I had to get her back to find out!

Then Sharon started to speak and I knew we were really in trouble.

* * *

Lily

Lucinda had called her son back as soon as Sharon had made everyone quieten down. They sat with Travis and Carol now, the homely woman keeping Freedom happy by bouncing him on her knee while Lucinda had her arms protectively wrapped around Isaiah. Heidi now had the seat next to me, her hand tightly gripping mine.

It was a shame Isaiah had gone, he was a wonderfully happy child. Distracting. For a time.

I was only really half-listening to the comments from around the room, though I knew I should be more passionate. This was Wanda's life we sat here and discussed. The idea that she considered ending it willingly had shaken me. I lost Jonathon right at the beginning of all this and now I've lost Wes too. Life is too precious to be wasted that way.

Sharon took over the conversation. She was persuasive, when she chose to be. "Her family?" Sharon questioned, when Trudy had finished. "I apologise Trudy but I find it difficult to give Wanda that moniker when so many of my own family are missing from these caves today. I am lucky, I can count my mother, uncle and two cousins among those whom I am related to that I still have. I have only lost a father, uncle and aunt to the Souls. It is not much compared to losing a husband," she nodded respectfully to Lucinda, who reached for Freedom across the table and held both her sons close, "a baby son," this time to Heidi, whose tears glistened in her eyes but she did not let fall, "or a new love." The brown eyes Sharon shared with her mother and Jamie fixed on me. The hardened pain in them spoke to me so very easily, it was so easy to imagine that same hardness in me. To see me forcing myself onward, turning my grief into grisly determination. Sharon turned away from me, looking at all the others. "We have created a new semblance of family here, finding those to support us when we required the support out of those who saw our pain and came to help." Her eyes went to Reid, Violetta, Ruth-Ann, Travis and Carol, who had, as she said, become like a new family since Travis and Carol had lost their two sons. They drew together almost instinctively. Sharon shook her head slowly, as if her grief had almost aged her. "We should not have needed to. We could write name after name of those we have lost to the Souls unknowingly destroying lives. Husbands, wives, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, boyfriends, girlfriends, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. They came to fix our world, eradicating mistakes by eradicating our species. What right did they have to 'fix' us? To remove us? I do not know of one."  
"I have not known many Souls, and I am the first to admit that I do not know the one we discuss today nearly as well as others here. But if what was said by those who do know her well is true, I must reconsider my opinion. Before I knew of Wanda, I would have advocated for her death with all the passion I can claim. Not simply for my father, uncle and aunt but for the children, I or anyone else may wish to have. For the future, as much as if not more than the past."

"But you have convinced me that here we have a self-sacrificing, truly unselfish being who loves humans enough to die for them. So, I agree with Lacey, Wanda should go to another planet. Yes she may lose some people she loves but the Souls as a race decided that humans as a race would lose most of those whom they love for the good of their people. For the good of ours, I say Wanda has the strength, has the capacity for love and will for life to find a new family in a new world. To be happy there." She directed her final statement to Trudy.

Whispers broke out all over the room. Sharon had spoken in a soft voice, so people would strain to hear. She didn't sound bitter, which she always had up until now, but sad, resigned yet a little hopeful for the future. For Wanda's as well as our own.

"You have never shown too much consideration or appreciation of Wanda before Sharon, or really have you condoled the rest of us in our losses." Geoffrey said, his eyes narrowed. Clearly he felt they were being manipulated.

Sharon smiled, openly and without guile. It made her look unusually pretty. "I have felt your losses as my own, as I said, we have all lost someone. Many someones. I continued, as we all did. As Wanda will."

Aaron spoke from the very back, his voice gruff as he rarely used it. "And wha' if you had the chance to take revenge for some of 'em, Miss Sharon? Would you have Wanda die, if you thought such would be allowed?"

Maggie's eyes leapt at that suggestion, which made me feel slightly sick. Sharon's brow furrowed in confusion though, "From what I have heard, Wanda doesn't deserve to take the blame for the atrocities her entire race have caused. She is too good for that, as you can see by how many there are here who love her."

Jeb's eyes were narrowed dangerously. "And the other Souls then? Do they deserve to die?"

Sharon raised her hands slightly in a graceful shrug. "I don't know Uncle Jebediah, I haven't met any of them. Would you have me judge a race of beings I hadn't met on the decisions of just a few of their kind? On hearsay information and outside facts? Put their lives in my hands upon only that? Who could do such a thing?" she finished.

They did. That is exactly what they did, destroyed the human race without understanding us. I was so confused, this was about Wanda. I knew Wanda, she was good, she deserved to stay but Sharon was also right and she was a Soul and the Souls took Jonathon and Daniel, Trudy and Geoffrey's other son, took Heath's girls, took Wes. Because of them I have been in a cave for eight years rather than finishing my degree, finding the job I wanted, marrying and having the life I dreamed of. They destroyed our world and took it as their own. How can we not retaliate, now we have the ability to?

* * *

Jamie

This was horrible. Sharon never normally talked this way, she only used big words and long sentences when she was angry. But without the sarcastic voice she normally used, no one could tell they were being manipulated! I could see it, Mel would be able to see it and fix it but I didn't know how and now they were going to hurt Wanda! What was I supposed to do?!

I stood up suddenly, no idea what I was going to say. Everyone looked at me. I could only say what was in my head. "No. You will not send Wanda away."

"Jamie, it really is the kindest option for every-" Sharon started, speaking in the kind of voice you would to a four-year-old.

"NO! Uncle Jeb, you said, when Wanda and Mel first came here, you gave the choice of what happened to them to Jared and me because Mel belonged to us first. You said that it was the right thing to do because if anyone else's family came back that way they'd want the same choice. Well, they have! My sister is in that tank and, by the rights that we already have here, there are four people that get ANY choice with what happens to her. And that's me, Mel, Ian and Jared because we love her most."

"Jamie this is about more than just Wanda. This is setting a precedent-"

"I don't know what that word means, which you should know because you're my teacher and also part of my family. But you don't, because you didn't get to know me ever. Just like you didn't get to know Wanda ever. So you don't have any right to chose what happens to her. Ian, is Wanda staying?"

"Yes. I don't care if we have to leave these caves, I am not letting her go."

"You can bet Mel, Jared and me will be right with you if you do."

"Woah, woah, woah, no one was sayin' anything about leavin'" Uncle Jeb said, his accent coming in stronger like it always does when he's upset.

"I'd do it Jeb, if I needed to. To keep her."

"We'd go with you!" Geoffrey yelled over the rising noise, Heath and Trudy on their feet beside him in an instant. Lily looked at them stunned.

"Are you crazy?!" Lacey shrieked, "I've seen what those Seekers would do to humans! You wouldn't last three days!"

"You can't be serious?!" Andy cried out over her. "We'd lose most of our raiders straight away! You can't leave Ian!"

Freedom started crying again and so was Ruth-Ann as she clung to her mother and Candy was trying to control Lacey and Aunt Maggie was whispering murderously to Sharon and everything was going crazy until finally, Uncle Jeb shot the gun.

Thankfully, it was at the floor. It seemed even Freedom was too shocked to cry, which Lucinda used to hustle him and Isaiah away from the smoking gun.

"We're going back to square one people. I am making a ruling so you can all just hush up!" Uncle Jeb yelled, mainly toward Aunt Maggie and Sharon. "Wanda stays in the cryotank for at least the next week." I started to protest but he interrupted. "I said at least a week kid, hold your horses. That'll give us time to cool off, gather ourselves together and think about what we all want to happen. There will be a hearin' in the Games Room," he glared at Aunt Maggie again, "at dinner in exactly one week's time. And if this happens again then, it won't be the damn floor I'll be shootin' at!"

There was some nervous laughter around the room but I didn't join in. We had one week to convince everyone that Wanda needed to stay. I slumped down beside Ian. What were we going to do?

* * *

Does that make up for the radio silence? Two chapters and one of them is crazy long?!

Have to admit, it is SO much fun writing Sharon. She so devious and she is the kind of person I can use the most complicated sentence structure I can come up with for. Next chapter belongs to her as well but Mel is there too. That's right, the next one will be the previously mentioned Mel vs Sharon showdown! Look out for it!


	13. Alone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am simply playing with her creations.

**FYI: **Major warning about Sharon's language here. She's pretty angry! Mel isn't much better to be fair.

**Floating without Fear – 12. Alone**

**Damn it. You would screw yourself up this much wouldn't you Sha?**

Will Mel get through to her cousin?

* * *

Jared

I don't think Jamie will ever be able to sneak away from Mel and I ever again. We woke up pretty much as soon as he left our grip, I think. But he was considerate enough to be quiet and that was fairly rare, so of course we took the chance to be lazy.

Mel grew restless though and we were quickly slipping through the caves after her brother. I was ready to jump right in beside Jamie to defend Wanda - who was not going ANYWHERE. Sharon was mad if she thought I had gone through threatening Doc and watching Ian cut Mel open just to have her ship off the point of all of that! But, Mel pulled me into the side of the archway to the dining area where we were pretty covered by shadows. I wrapped my arms around her and breathed in the smell of her hair while she was vigilant enough for us both for a little while.

I started paying attention when Mel went stiff. Sharon was spouting some cra- rubbish about the family she'd lost or something and I suddenly realised that she was talking about Mel and Jamie's parents. Thinking that was what was wrong, I squeezed Mel a little but I only needed one look at her face to know that she wasn't upset. Her eyes were narrowed, her lips thin and she was glaring at Sharon as if she could kill her with a look. But there was also fear behind the anger in her eyes, fear for her cousin, not of her.

As I started to get a grip, I started to realise just what Sharon was doing and see why Jamie looked like he was going to explode. Mel stepped on my foot at least four times to stop me doing just that myself. What was _with_ her? Normally she'd be screaming at Sharon by now. There was something more going on here, something Mel understood but no one else.

So when Sharon slipped away after the argument was noisy closed, I didn't hold Mel back from following her.

* * *

Sharon

Sickening. Utterly sickening. Apparently all was right in the world again, now that the alien had returned Mel, it was apparently okay for her to destroy another random person. What the hell was wrong with these people? Why could they not see the war we were losing?!  
Scowling was an expression so familiar to me now that it was etched into the lines on my face. It made me look like mother. Once that would have annoyed me. Now it just meant I had physical proof that someone, anyone, was on my side in all this hell. I quickly stalked away from the rest of them, leaving mother behind but it was a small comfort to hear the reassuring words she had whispered in my ear at the end there. Her pride was the only thing I had to hold on to now. I needed to think, needed to plan, plan how to get that invader away from my family. I aimed for the small cave I shared with mother. It was far away from the one Mel would share with Jared and also the one I had briefly shared with Eustace. We were on the outskirts now, no longer a central part of the human survival system, no longer permitted to be around the family that Trudy so happily threw in my face. Pushed out by the new way that sympathised with the invaders of our home.

My thoughts continued on this well-worn path until I heard Mel's voice call my name. I span around quickly, my body tense and ready in a way that only fighting for your life every day for years could give. I had no idea she was there which showed just how deeply in thought I had been, as I was normally always aware of a tail. Seeing her again brought back every conflicting feeling it had when her body had made it to the caves and I did what I was very good at. Possibly the only thing I was very good at. Ignored my feelings.

"Sorry." She said, genuinely sounding apologetic. "Didn't mean to surprise you. I just wanted to talk to you a bit". She was half-smiling, even though there was a storm brewing in her eyes. It was as if her life was suddenly so wonderful that she couldn't help giving off her joy and relief. It didn't help my mood.

"Say your piece then," I snarled, not in the mood. "Here I am."

Mel's face hardened instantly. That was better. "I wanted to say hi. It's good to see you Sha, I went looking for you awhile back."

My voice could have cracked ice. "I didn't ask you to look Melanie, nor was your invasion my responsibility."

"You're pissed. I heard your speech in there, very rousing. And since when did you call me Melanie?"

That wasn't right, she was supposed to get angry, yell back at me, especially if she'd seen me speak to the others. Mel saw through my crap, always had, she would never have been fooled by my clever words and soft tone in there. She knew me all too well. But she hadn't been around for years, the things she knew about me from when we were kids shouldn't apply! We were NOT best friends any more.

"I guess I'm calling you the full Sharon as well then?"

"I'd prefer it."

"Too effing bad. I bloody well know you Sha, and not harpy-Maggie-clone you but you you. What the fuck have you done to yourself?"

"Why is it you swear too much with me but never let Jamie or your boyfriend do it?."

"Because you deserve it. And I see through the distraction Sha, I know all you want to do is go sit in the dark somewhere and fume in your own sulkiness. Grow a pair. Answer my question."

I smiled at her. A shark would have been proud of it. "Why, I'm merely living out the democratic dream of our forefathers in this everyone-has-a-voice utopia we have created for ourselves, dear cousin. Isn't life wonderful?"

She growled, which I took as a small triumph. "Don't give me that _crap_. That wasn't you speaking in there, that was your mother speaking with your brain. She hasn't got the intelligence to string together words that way and I _thought_ you had too much to do it for her. But no, I got back not three hours ago and already I got the delight of listening to you spread your mother's poison. So, let me repeat myself. What. The Fuck. Have you done?"

I kept my polite voice, as it was clearly getting to her. "I don't know what you mean, sorry dear."

"Fuck it! The last time I saw you, you were the one fighting through her little manipulative digs, not bloody saying them! You had got away from her Sha! You didn't have her controlling your life any more, how, how the hell, did you go back to that? I get that you lost your dad but he'd bloody hate this!"

"DON'T!" I screamed, cutting off her yelling. She reeled back and I exhaled sharply to moderate my voice. "Don't talk about my father." I finished, at a normal volume. My ribs ached as if she'd physically punched me when she suggested he'd be annoyed at me.

"He was the only one who ever got through to you! You can't live with Maggie's paranoia, her mistrust. You KNOW it's her way of making sure you are always dependant on her and will never be able to live your own life! Your dad showed you that! Why are you ignoring it now?!"

I whirled and screamed in her face, inches from her nose. "BECAUSE HE'S GONE! BECAUSE SHE'S ALL I HAVE! Because she saved me, protected me, helped me. Because she was right. Because she warned me about this and I called her crazy! What was I supposed to do?! She warned me, sent me a damn letter, spouting all this crazy shit about the world being taken over by soul-suckers and I laughed it off! Of course I bloody did, just like I always did, just like we always did! We called her crazy, dad and me, rolled our eyes and grimaced about when we had to see her next! But she was RIGHT! And if I had just listened to all her 'paranoia' that one time, then dad would still be here and I wouldn't have seen him come through the door with a big smile and tight hug only to have looked up into the silver eyes of a fucking ALIEN! If it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't have even guessed what the eyes meant, I would have come up with some other reason, just like every other human dope out there and I would have been utterly deleted too! I owe her EVERYTHING!"

"They are killers Melanie, worse than killers. They don't even leave bodies to bury and say goodbye to but only give the most whitewashed and weak imitation of the life that was within! They DESTROYED the tiny shred of family I found and I had to build a new one for myself in my mother. I will defend that. They have NO right to be here and they are leaving!"

She cut through the crap again, finding the most important point. "They didn't destroy your family Sha. Wanda didn't. She reunited us. She gave me back. Protected Jamie. Trusted Uncle Jeb. You don't need to rely on your mother!"

Even as I sneered at her, I reeling that she could see that point was the most important to me. She ignored the threat to her precious Wanda and went to fix the loneliness in me. Good try Mel but there was a fatal flaw what you just said.

"When did I ever call you my family? Wanda returned for the people you loved. Jared and Jamie. I bet there are less than five times in the last 6 months while she was in your head that you thought about anything to do with me or my mother. Don't harp on about our family Mel, our family doesn't exist. You care very little about me. I was lying in that hall, you know it, I know it, Jamie even knows it. He wouldn't let me anywhere near him while we thought you were gone. He wanted Jared, fucked up as he was. You say that I'm letting my mother control me again, well, I ask you this. Who else cares about me enough to give a flying fuck what I do?"

I walked away, not needing to look to know she was floundering with her mouth open behind me. I turned just enough to say over my shoulder. "You are a hypocrite Melanie Stryder. So you can stick your preaching self-righteous crap up your ass right in front of Jared's tiny prick."

* * *

He he he, bet no one expected Sharon to win did you? I always found it weird that Mel risked her life for Sharon, as well as Jamie and Jared if she'd given away their position but then in the rest of the book there is pretty much nothing about her and Mel's relationship. So here is Sharon's reaction to the person who was probably once her best friend basically ignoring her.

On another note, I've been really depressed by the lack of response to the last couple of chapters. I'm not sure if anyone is still reading but please, if you are, give me a quick review? This story will get finished even if I'm the only one who wants to see where the characters take it but it is a lot easier with the knowledge that anyone else cares!


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